


Detonate Dick

by Katelyn_Watson_1991



Series: My Supernatural Life [49]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crazy Castiel, Dick Jokes, Episode: s07e21 Reading is Fundamental, Episode: s07e22 There Will Be Blood, Episode: s07e23 Survival of the Fittest, F/M, Killing Dick, Season 7 is over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 22:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katelyn_Watson_1991/pseuds/Katelyn_Watson_1991





	Detonate Dick

Dean and Sam dropped me off back at the cabin. They wanted to keep the kids and me as safe as possible. Two days later, I heard from Dean. Cas was awake but not the same. They were going to be heading to the cabin in a few hours with Meg and a Prophet who was a high schooler named Kevin. 

Sawyer and I fixed up the basement. We moved the kids up to the main floor and made the basement into our weaponry so that when the guys came back we would have everything ready. 

When they finally arrived home, we were all in the kitchen. I was holding BJ in my arms playing with him as Abby was sitting on the floor reading to the dogs. Sawyer was sharpening her machete at the kitchen table when Sam, Dean, Meg, Cas, and a short Asian kid I assumed to be Kevin walked into the cabin. 

“Unca Cas!” Abby yelled, running to him. 

“Hello, Abigail,” he answered, reaching down to pick her up. 

“I’ve missed you! Are you back to keep us safe?” she asked. 

“I am here to help,” he answered her. 

I got up and walked over to him with BJ. “Hey, Cas,” I said, smiling. 

“Hello, Kelly,” he answered. 

“Unca Cas, that’s baby BJ. He is my baby brother!” Abby said excitedly. 

“I can see that. He is a very happy baby,” Cas said smiling at BJ. “Hello, Bobby John. I’m your uncle Castiel.” 

BJ smiled at him and reached for him. Cas put Abby down and took BJ. BJ was content to be with his uncle. 

“I wish that you could have been there to see him come into the world, Cas. He was always such a good baby,” I said looking at just how much BJ loved Cas. 

“I would love for this ‘family reunion’ to continue but we don’t have time for this love fest,” Meg said. 

“Why are we allowing this abomination to be here?” Sawyer asked. 

“I’m here to help,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Whatever,” Sawyer said, turning and taking Abby. 

Sam, Cas, and Meg angel-proofed the cabin. Meg left for some reason and Dean, Kevin, and I went down into the basement while Sawyer took care of Abby and BJ. 

“Let's leave off angel-proofing sigils or I'll be expelled, too,” I heard Cas say as I walked downstairs. 

“As long as we're invisible to your Garrison buddies, it works for me,” Sam said.

“I'm sure you're pretty hungry, so once we get settled in upstairs, we'll get some dinner going,” I said to Kevin. 

Dean was clearing a space on the table that was covered with knives, making Kevin stop in his tracks. 

“This looks like a sex torture dungeon. Is this a sex-torture dungeon?” Kevin looked at me. 

I felt bad for the kid because he was dragged into this. I looked up and saw Dean pick up a scythe. 

“No, this is not a sex-torture... Get over here. Sit down and read, would you?” Dean said. 

A while later, Dean had fallen asleep in a chair with BJ in his lap. Kevin was writing at the table. He started to hyperventilate. I was reading a book about heaven. 

“Kevin?” I said, looking up from my book. 

“This is all too much. What's happened to my life? I'm just a kid from Michigan. I didn't want to be a Word-keeper!” he said. Dean was now awake. He stood up and handed BJ to me. 

“Looks like we're brown-baggin' it,” he said, giving Kevin a brown paper bag.

“I am not prepared to factor the supernatural into my world view,” Kevin said in between taking breaths into the bag. 

“Okay, there we go,” I said, patting his back. “That's it. That's it. Just breathe. Take it easy. I’m going to get you some tea,” I said taking BJ up to go to sleep and to get tea for Kevin. 

I took the mug of tea back downstairs and handed it to him. “Here you go, sweetheart,” I said. 

“Thanks,’ he said, taking a sip. 

“How are you doing?” I asked, taking a seat next to Dean. 

“I have been better,” he said. “I still don’t understand why me.” 

“Oh, I don't know, man. What can I say? You've been chosen. And it sucks. Believe me. There's no use asking "why me?" 'Cause the angels – they don't care. I think maybe they just don't have the equipment to care. Seems like when they try, it just… breaks them apart,” Dean said, putting his arm around my shoulder. 

“I just want to be the first Asian-American President of the United States,” Kevin said. 

“Then do your homework,” I said, giving him a half smile. 

After some time I went upstairs because BJ was crying. Dean followed soon after. Kevin stayed in the basement reading the tablet. Sawyer was watching Abby. That was when we noticed that Meg was gone and so was the knife. We turned off all the lights and acted like we didn’t notice she was gone. 

Sometime later, Meg came into the cabin. Sam had made a devil’s trap that she was now stuck in. Sam turned on the lights and we all looked at her. 

“Didn't expect to see you back,” I said, my arms crossed over my chest. 

“Yeah, not without the King's army,” Dean said, taking a step closer to her. “Knife,” he ordered. 

Meg obliged and handed him the knife. “Typical. I save our bacon, and you're sitting here, waiting by a devil's trap.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously, I just killed two of Crowley's men. I could have gone the other way on that.”

“It's true, incidentally. There's other demons' blood on that blade,” Cas said, looking at the demon blade. 

“Look, I'm simpler than you think. I've figured one thing out about this world – just one, pretty much. You find a cause, and you serve it. Give yourself over, and it orders your life. Lucifer and Yellow Eyes – their mission was it for me,” Meg said. 

“So, what? We should trust you because you wanted to free Satan from Hell?” I said, looking at her. 

“I'm talking ‘cause,’ douchebag, as in reason to get up in the morning. Obviously, these things shift over time. We learn we grow. Now, for me currently, the cause is bringing down the King. And I know we'll need help to do it,” Meg said. 

“Crowley ain't the problem this year,” Dean said. 

“When are you gonna get it? Crowley's always the problem. He's just waiting for the right moment to strike. I know what I'm supposed to do. And it isn't screw with Sam and Dean or lose the only angel who'd go to bat for me,” Meg said. 

Sam broke the devil’s trap with his foot. 

“This is good – harmony and communication. Now our only problem is Hester,” Cas said. 

“What?” Meg said. 

“Well, here, we're hidden from the Garrison, but when you killed a demon, you put out a pretty clear beacon,” Cas said. 

“We need better angel-proofing now,” Meg said. 

The door broke open, sending pieces everywhere and three angels appeared in the cabin. 

“You took the Prophet from us?!” the woman said. I assumed it was Hester. 

“I'm – I'm sorry?” Cas said pushing me out of the way to toward Dean. 

“You have fallen in every way imaginable,” she said to Cas. 

The other angel stepped into the conversation. “Please, Castiel. We have to follow the code. Help us do our work,” he said. 

“He can't help you. He can't help anybody,” Dean said. 

“We don't need his help... or his permission,” Hester said, nodding to the other angel. He disappeared. “The Keeper goes to the desert tonight.” 

The other angel reappeared with Kevin. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back off. We're actually trying to clean up one of your angel's messes! You know that,” I said, my motherly instincts kicking in, and also understanding that Kevin would be a big help for us to kill Dick. 

“She's right. An angel brought the Leviathan back into this world, and – and they begged him. They begged him not to do it,” Cas said looking at me. 

“Look, just give us some time, okay? We will take care of your Prophet,” Dean said. 

“Why should we give you anything… After everything, you have taken from us? The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost! For that, you're going to pay,” Hester said taking a step towards Dean. 

“Please. They're the ones we were put here to protect,” Cas said to her. 

“No, Castiel,” Hester said, backhanding Cas and he fell to the ground.

The two other angels blocked Sam, Dean, and I from getting to Cas. 

“No more madness!” Hester punched Cas in the face. “No more promises!” She punched him again. “No more new Gods!” She continued to punch Cas and then she pulled out her angel blade and held it up in the air ready to plunge it into Cas.

“Hester! No!” Inais said, grabbing Hester’s arm. “Please! There's so few of us left.” 

Hester punched Inais and he fell to the ground, then she turned to Cas. “You wanted free will. Now I'm making the choices.” She raised the knife. 

Meg had made her way over to Hester. She stabbed her in the back. Hester’s body was filled with light and then there were a set of wings burned into the floor. She was dead. We all looked at Meg, surprised that she was on our side. She shrugged, “What? Someone had to.”

Inais turned to Cas. “These are strange times,” he said. 

“I think they've always been,” Cas said to him. 

I was standing near Sam and Kevin, holding BJ. He had woken up with all of the noise and people that were here. Sawyer was asleep in the other room with Abby. 

“I wish you'd come with us,” Inais said to Cas, putting his hand on Cas’s arm. 

“Oh, I'm not part of the Garrison anymore, Inias. I'm sorry,” Cas answered. 

Dean walked over to us. He took BJ from me and kissed the side of my head, comforting me. Kevin looked up from the tablet and handed me the notebook in which he had translated the tablet. 

“Thanks, Kevin. Not a lot of people could have handled this,” I said smiling at him. 

“You doing all right there, ‘chosen one’?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah,” he answered, giving us a half-hearted smile. 

“Are you ready, Kevin Tran?” Inais asked Kevin. 

Two of the other angels put their hands on Kevin’s shoulders protectively. 

“Bring the Keeper to his home. We can watch over him there,” Inais said. 

They all disappeared with the sound of wings flapping. 

I took BJ back to put him back to bed. He was going on about two hours of sleep and I was right behind him on that, but I couldn’t sleep - I had work to do. We were getting so close to figuring out how to kill Dick. I walked back into the room where Dean, Sam, and Cas were. 

“I couldn't find Meg anywhere,” Dean said as I sat next to Sam at the table. 

“Yes, well, she enjoys laying low,” Cas said. 

Sam was reading the notebook when he looked up at me. 

“Here. ‘Leviathan cannot be slain but by a bone of a righteous mortal washed in the three bloods of the fallen.’ Uh... It says we need to start with the blood of a fallen angel,” he said looking at Cas. 

Dean and I looked over at Cas as well. 

“Well, you know me,” Cas said holding a small bottle of blood. “I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters,” he handed the bottle to me. 

I looked at him with questioning eyes. “What are you gonna do, Cas?” 

“I don't know,” he said, smiling. “Isn't that amazing?” 

Cas disappeared. Sam went back to reading the notebook and Dean and I sat and exchanged looks. 

“Well, let's get to work,” Dean said. 

I sat with Dean and Sam at the table until I couldn't keep my eyes open. Dean sent me to sleep. I tried to protest but he insisted that if I was going to be any help I needed to get at least four hours of sleep. So I did as long as he woke me up if he found anything. I was exhausted because I woke to the sound of Dean talking to BJ. 

“Little man, are you going to be a handful when you get big. I am putting my money on you being a ladies man as well,” Dean said. 

I opened my eyes and smiled at the two of them. “He is going to take after his daddy,” I said. 

Dean looked at me with a sly smile. But then his smile changed as he thought about the little BJ being a ladies man. “Oh, I hope not.” 

I had gotten out of bed and made my way to Dean. I took his face in my hands and looked him in the eyes. “Dean, you are a good man. I don't care what you or anyone else says. BJ would be lucky to be just like you,” I said, kissing him. 

“Be careful, Miss Singer. If you keep talking like that we might have another kid,” Dean said pulling away from my kiss slightly. 

“Not yet. I want to spend time with this little one before we have another one,” I said taking BJ from Dean. 

We went into the kitchen and I made breakfast for everyone, holding BJ and keeping him entertained while Abby was sitting with Sam and Sawyer and Dean did research on how to make sense of the translation of the tablet. 

“Okay, man, I have read this more times than the Playboy I found in Dad's duffel,” Dean said to Sam. 

I shook my head. 

“Anna Nicole?” Sam asked. 

“Who’s Anna Nicole?” Sawyer asked, looking up from the laptop. 

"What's Playboy?" Abby asked. I shook my head at the curiosity of my daughter. 

Dean and Sam exchanged looks and laughed a little “Anna Nicole. Oh, the good – they die young, huh?” Dean said ignoring Sawyer's and Abby's questions.

Sawyer shook her head and let out a loud breath. 

“Look, we can read this till our eyes bleed. It ain't getting any clearer,” Dean said, trying to fix the situation. 

“Okay. Then what does it mean?” Sawyer asked, sitting back and looking at Dean. 

“Uh… Cut off the head, and the body will flounder,” Dean said. 

“Yeah,” she said. 

“Okay. Well, I think we both agree that, uh, the head is Dick. Right?” Dean asked. 

“Right,” Sam said, walking over to the table with Abby 

“So, bottom line is, we go grab the stuff, and we mix ourselves a weapon. End of story,” Dean said, taking a drink from his beer. 

“Look, I'm all for killing Dick. I'm just saying, what then? I mean, what about the rest of the Leviathan? What, are they gonna just... drop dead?” I said, putting a plate of biscuits and eggs on the table. 

“I don't know. Maybe,” Dean said. 

I was a little shocked at his looseness on taking out all of the leviathans. “Maybe? ‘Maybe’ is good enough for you right now?” 

“One problem at a time, all right?” he answered, digging into some eggs. 

“Okay. But it's not a crazy idea to try and figure out what the catch is before we go crashing the gate,” Sam said, sitting and digging into some food as well as serving Abby her own food. 

“Maybe this is the catch. God's not telling us every detail. You know? The word is from God. I don't know how much better it's gonna get,” I said as I ate my own food. 

After we finished breakfast, BJ was starting to get fussy so I put him down for a nap and went to go shower and get ready. I was brushing my teeth and when I looked in the mirror I saw Bobby standing behind me. 

“Hey, Dad. How you feeling?” I asked looking at him through the mirror. 

“Stronger than ever. Now, while you all have been chasing your tails, I've been thinking on that weapon,” Bobby said. 

“Wait a second. Don't you think you should be saving your strength?” I asked, concerned that he was going to strain himself. 

“For what?” he asked. 

“Dad, I'm just saying you might want to slow down. You don't look so great,” I said. Bobby wasn’t looking like himself. He was a lot skinnier and more menacing than he used to be. 

“I'm in the Veil. My Brad Pitt days are over. Now, the kid says that the only way to kill Leviathan is with a bone washed in the three bloods of the fallen. It's got to be from a human as light and good as the Leviathan are hungry and dark,” Bobby explained. 

“Yeah. Good luck with that,” I said turning around to look at Bobby. 

“The rest is doable, and doable now. You've already got the fallen angel blood. Now, next up is blood from the ruler of fallen humanity. Now, the best I can tell, that's Crowley. Numero tres is the father of fallen beasts,” Bobby said. 

“Which means...?” I asked. 

“You got to bleed an Alpha,” Bobby explained. 

“But they're all dead. I mean, everyone we found, we rounded up for Crowley, and then Cas whammied them all,” I said feeling a little deflated. 

“Well, then, make this Cas's problem, too.” 

“Cas ain't exactly in the problem-solving mode, Bobby,” I said. 

“Then Crowley!” he said, yelling at me. 

I was taken aback - Bobby almost never yelled at me. “All right, I get it. I get it,” I said, putting my hands up. 

“Do you?!” Bobby yelled again. There was a cracking sound behind me I turned and looked at the mirror. There was a crack through it. “I'm just sayin'. I have faith that you boys will figure it out. Relax. I'm fine. Just got a little carried away.” 

Bobby looked at me then disappeared. I walked into the living room and sat with Sam at the table. He was watching a video on Sucrocorp on his laptop. 

“Here at Sucrocorp, your well-being is our number-one priority. Sucrocorp – eat well, live well. ” 

“Little FYI. Bobby's officing out of the john these days,” I said, looking at both of them as Dean handed me a cup of coffee. 

“Uh... awkward,” Sam answered. 

“Yeah, you're telling me, I’m his daughter. Uh, he does have some ideas about the weapon, though,” I explained. 

“Really? Well, uh, he may be just in time,” Sam said. 

Dean sat next to me as Sam turned his laptop toward us to show us an article titled ‘Roman Acquires Sucrocorp.’

“‘Roman acquires…’ What's Sucrocorp?” Dean asked. 

“They make food additives, namely high-fructose corn syrup. That crap is in – well, it's in just about everything – um, soda, sauces, bread,” Sam explained. 

“Don't say ‘pie,’” Dean said looking helpless. 

“Oh, definitely pie, sweetheart,” I said, looking over to Dean. 

“Bastards. So now what? Roman's moved past restaurants?” Dean said looking at Sam. 

“And into grocery stores, Gas n' Sips, vending machines,” Sam explained. 

“What can we do about it?” I asked. 

“Short of going Al Qaeda on their trucks and plants, there's nothing we can do about it,” Sam said. 

The laptop shut suddenly making the three of us jump. Sam and Dean exchanged looks and I took a deep breath. 

“Like I said, uh, Bobby's got some ideas,” I said. 

I explained that we needed to summon Crowley. So I sent Sawyer and Abby to the store to get fresh veggies and fruits. Nothing processed. 

Dean set up the ritual to summon Crowley. 

“Et ad congregandum eos coram me,” Sam said, lighting the match and tossing it into the bowl. The flames rose up from the bowl and Crowley appeared. 

“Hello, boys,” Crowley said to Sam and Dean. Then he turned to me. “Love, how are you and the new baby doing?” 

I just rolled my eyes. Even though Crowley had been helpful when I needed him he had tried to take over the world and didn’t take care of us like he promised he would always do. 

“So, that's what all the ‘rumble, rumble’ was about,” he said, gesturing to the notebook in Sam’s hand. “Who translated it for you?” 

“Never mind. You gonna give us the blood or not?” Dean asked. 

“Happily. But not quite yet. I'm all for chopping Dick, but I can't have you running around with a vial of my blood, now, can I? You know the sheer number of nefarious spells my enemies can use that blood for?” Crowley said. 

“Well, then when?” I asked, putting BJ into his playpen. 

“Last. After you've got all the other components. Most difficult, the angel part, I'm assuming. Given your role in their little apocalypse, I can't imagine the choirboys upstairs are wetting their vestments to do you – what's the word? – a solid. Unless, of course, you have an angel up your sleeve,” he said, looking at me with a questioning look. 

“Well, that'd be convenient, but, uh, no,” Dean said, getting Crowley's attention. 

“Don't worry about it. We'll get the angel blood one way or another. We just need you to be ready next time we call,” I said, taking a step toward the King of Hell. 

“Fine. Oh, here's a tip. I have it on good authority there's one Alpha still among us,” he answered, looking me straight in the eyes. 

“Whose authority?” Dean asked. 

“Mine. Wily character, that Alpha vampire. Somehow made good his prison break before Cas went nuclear on the place,” Crowley said, turning his attention to Dean. 

“And you know this how?” Dean asked. 

“Keep your friends close, your enemies, blah blah. Needless to say, I keep tabs. He moves around quite a bit. But I have an inkling I know where to start the Easter-egg hunt. Happy trails,” Crowley said winking at me then disappearing. 

“Okay. Where, jackass?!” I yelled. 

Flames rise on the table. As they started to die down, we saw that words had been carved into the table. 

“Hoople, North Dakota,” Sam said reading the words from the table.

“Piece of paper would have worked,” Dean said, rolling his eyes. 

The guys left for North Dakota. When Sawyer got home we made a fruit salad and we steamed the vegetables. 

We ate the food and enjoyed playing with the little ones. I put them to bed and then Sawyer and I did research. We had been sitting there for a few hours when Sawyer stopped reading and looked at me. 

“What are you thinking about?” I asked her still reading. 

“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that life is like a dick. Sometimes it’s up… sometimes it’s down… But it won’t be hard forever,” Sawyer said with a smile. 

“Really, you had to make a dick joke, right now?” I asked, looking up from my book. 

“I know, it’s a problem… I’m trying to give up sexual innuendos… But it’s hard. So hard,” she said, trying not to laugh. 

“Sawyer,” I said scolding her but trying to hold in my laughter. “I can’t deal with you.” 

“When in doubt… make dick jokes,” she said, laughing. 

“You have been hanging out with Sam and Dean for too long,” I said turning back to the book I was reading. 

It was about 2:45 am when Dean and Sam got back to the cabin. They had been through Hell, but they got the blood from the Alpha Vampire so we were one step closer to killing Dick. 

Dean sent Sawyer and me to the cemetery to get the bone of a righteous person. 

“All right. Exit's in 3 miles,” Sawyer said. 

“I still say this is a bad idea,” I said. “I can’t believe that they talked me into this.”

“Kelly, I know it sounds crazy but it was the best idea that any of us had,” she said. 

“He said it as a joke,” I said, shaking my head. “I know him way too well. Why do I trust him?” 

“Well, it was a bad joke – good idea. And it’s because you love him,” she answered. 

“Yeah, only because we don’t have a magic spell, no book – nothing on how to find a freakin' righteous bone,” I said. “They sent us on a wild goose chase.” 

“We can call Castiel again,” she suggested. 

“Sawyer, no. On my car, he showed up naked… covered in bees,” I said. “I will never forget how priceless Dean’s face was, but I am scarred for life.” 

“Yeah, I'm not really sorry I missed that,” Sawyer said as I turned on the radio. 

“... The price of stock hit an all-time high following Roman's acquisition of Sucrocorp. I say Roman's a buy,” a man said. 

“I got to disagree with you there. I'm gonna call him a ‘wait and watch.’” a woman said. 

“Come on, Lawshe. You're killing me,” the man said. 

“Hear me out. This is a new sector for Roman,” she said. 

“That's right. He's holed up at Sucrocorp headquarters right now,” he said. 

“So sit tight. This –” I shut off the radio. 

“Holed up at Sucrocorp, huh?” I looked at Sawyer. “Call the guys. They can get to looking into Sucrocorp.” 

Sawyer called Sam and told him to look into Dick Roman and as well as to do some digging into what Dick was doing with the Sucrocorp office building. 

We got to the cemetery and we found directions to the nunnery crypt. Sawyer and I walked into the crypt. 

“Well, I guess if we can't find a righteous bone in a friggin' nunnery crypt,” I said. “We can’t find it anywhere.” 

“All right. Here – listen to this. Sister Mary Benedict, uh, taught the learning-impaired and died at age 23,” she said, reading from the records of the nuns that were in buried in the crypt. 

“Eh, it's a little young. Find someone who's had time to cook,” I said, looking around the crypt. 

“Okay, well, there was, uh… here – Sister Mary Eunice. Uh, fed the poor, became Mother Superior at age 60,” she said, reading from the book of records. 

“Sounds political. Power corrupts,” I said flatly. 

“Right. Um… Oh, listen to this – Sister Mary Constant, 83 years of quiet, humble nun-like goodness. What do you think?” she asked. 

“Wow. I want to be more righteous just reading this,” I said, reading about Sister Mary Constant. 

“Exactly,” she said, smiling. 

“All right, well, I lay odds on her. Here we go,” I said walking over to a plaque that said ‘Sister Mary Constant.’ I looked back at Sawyer and then turned back to the plaque. “Sorry, Sister,” I said swinging a sled hammer smashing the coffin. I pulled out a bone. 

We headed back to the cabin and when we got there we decided to summon Crowley to help us. Dean tossed a lit match into a bowl. The flames rose and then died down. We all looked around the cabin waiting for Crowley to appear. 

“Is he trying to make a grand entrance or…?” Dean asked. 

“I don't know…” I said, looking around. 

“Son of a bitch. He's standing us up,” Sawyer said. 

“Well, we summoned him. Doesn't he kind of have to –” Sam said, a little confused. 

“If Crowley wants to screw you, he'll screw you,” Dean said walking over to the fridge to grab a beer. 

“Or… he can't come 'cause something went wrong,” I said. 

“Maybe,” Dean answered. 

There was a knock on the door. I sent Sawyer to stay with the kids while Sam and I pulled out our guns. 

“Maybe it's good news,” Dean said, exchanging looks with me and Sam. 

Sam looked through the peephole and opened the door. Meg was standing there. 

“You deal with him. I can't anymore,” she said. 

“You might want to be more specific,” Dean said confused. 

“I was laying low halfway across the world when emo boy pops up out of nowhere and zaps me right back here,” she said, gesturing out to a car that was outside. 

“Why?” Dean asked. 

“Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first,” Meg said looking at Dean. 

Dean turned to me and smiled almost asking with his eyes that I would come and help with Cas. I nodded at him and we walked out to the car. 

Cas was sitting in the driver's seat listening to the radio. We walked up to the car and Dean leaned into the open passenger window and I stood next to him.

“Hey, there,” Dean said. 

“Hi, Cas,” I echoed. 

Cas raised his hand to us in a greeting. 

Dean straightened up and closed his eyes taking in a deep breath. I put my hand on his shoulder and looked at Cas. 

“So, Cas, what's, uh, what’s the word?” I asked. 

“Well, Kelly, Dean, I've been thinking. Monkeys are so... clever, and they're sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?” Cas said looking out the front window. 

“Not very,” Dean said. 

“How about you, Kelly?” Cas asked. 

“I guess… I have never thought about it,” I said, “You want to come inside and, uh, tell us what's going on?” 

He nodded and we went into the cabin. Sawyer had the kids sitting on the floor playing. Sam was sitting at the table with Meg. 

“Now, you understand I don't participate in aggressive activity,” Cas said picking up a bone and sniffing it. “Mm. Sister Mary Constant. Good choice,” Cas said with a smile. 

“Why'd you go to Meg, Cas?” I asked, picking up BJ.   
“When I left, I wanted to observe the flowers – and fruit. Flowers come first, obviously. But I heard nothing from them,” Cas said, smiling at BJ and then taking him from me. 

“You heard nothing from who?” Sam asked. 

“The Garrison,” he said to BJ. BJ laughed and smiled at Cas. 

“What happened to the Garrison?” I asked. 

“Well, finally, the silence was deafening, so I went to look… to the home of the Prophet,” Cas said looking at us. “You know, Leviathan can kill angels. There's a reason why Father locked them in Purgatory. They're the Piranha that would eat the whole aquarium. They're gone. The entire Garrison – dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding,” he said flatly. 

“Um, I'm sorry. If the angels are dead, where's Kevin?” I asked, shocked at the news of Kevin. 

“I could steal them from their cages, the monkeys. But where would I put them all?” Cas said. 

“Hey!” I said in a loud voice, taking BJ from Cas. “Focus. Is Kevin alive?” 

Dean was upset and took a step toward Cas. 

“I don't want to fight,” Cas said putting his hands up. 

“No, I'm not –” Dean said then in a very calm voice he said. “We're worried.” 

“They took him. He's alive. I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now,” Cas said.

“Wait. Hold on a freakin' minute,” Dean said. 

“I feel much better,” Cas said. 

“Guys, what's all that?” Meg asked looking at the spell paraphernalia on the table. 

“We called Crowley,” Sawyer said. 

“You what?” Meg said with fear. 

“Don't worry. He never showed,” Sam said. 

“What do you mean never –” she started to say but I cut her off. 

“Do you see him anywhere? He stood us up,” I said, annoyed with this whole situation. 

“Well, I'm sorry about that, but I'm outie. He could still sh–” she said but then was cut off by Crowley. 

“Show up at any time. Hello, boys. Love. Sorry, I'm late. This is an embarrassment of riches.” 

“Unca Crowy!” Abby yelled. She tried to run to him but Sawyer caught her.

“Hello my little bird,” Crowley said to Abby then he turned to Meg. “Stay, won't you. There's really nowhere to run.” 

Meg ran for the door. Crowley disappeared and then reappeared in front of the door blocking her exit. 

“Don't even think of smoking out, pussycat. I've got eyes all over the place,” he said to her. 

“Leave her be,” Cas said. 

“Castiel. When last we spoke, you – well, enslaved me. I'm confused. Why aren't you dead?” Crowley said, sounding confused that Cas was still alive. 

“I… don't know,” Cas said. 

“Well, do you want to be? 'Cause I can help with that,” Crowley said taking a step toward Cas. 

“All right, enough,” Dean said. 

“It's enough when I say. I came here to help you. I find out you've been lying to me, harboring an angel, and not just any angel – the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth,” Crowley said getting upset. 

“Oh, so you can crush angels now, huh?” Meg said to Crowley, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“You bore me. You know that? You have no sense of poetry,” Crowley said to Meg. Then she turned to Cas. “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” 

“Well, I'm still, uh, honing my communication strategy. I haven't even been back to Heaven. I-I keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have…” Cas said as Dean and Crowley exchanged looks. “Trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and… miracles, really.” 

“What are you talking about?” Crowley said with a confused look on his face. 

“Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess. Here. I can offer a token if you like,” Cas said pulling out a plastic bag with a yellow substance in it. “It's honey. I-I collected it myself.” 

Cowley looked confused and he looked at Dean giving him a strange look. “You're off your rocker. He's off his rocker – is that it?” Crowley said looking at all of us. ‘Karma's a bitch, isn't it?” Crowley said pouring himself a glass of whiskey. 

“Look, did you come here to, uh, donkey-punch your old grudges or to help us end Dick? Pick a battle,” I said, putting BJ into his playpen. 

“Well, I'm vexed. I'd like to do both. But where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur? Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile… a prezzie,” Crowley said taking out a vial of blood. 

“Really? Just boxed-up and ready to go?” Sam asked questioning Crowley’s motives. 

“I'm a model of efficiency,” he answered. 

“Is that right? Then why were you late?” I asked, walking over to stand next to Sam. 

“Dick had me in a devil trap. He's not an idiot. He knows what you are after,” he said. 

“So what did he offer you?” Dean asked. 

“A fair deal. In exchange for giving you the wrong blood. It's demon, but is it mine?” he said, pausing. “It's my blood. Real deal.” 

“And why should we trust you?” Dean asked. 

“Good God, don't. Never trust anyone. A lesson I learned from my last business partner,” Crowley said looking at Cas. 

“All right. Give us the blood,” Dean said. 

“Certainly. Oh, bonus. Meg, I'm gonna scoop you up, take you home, and roast you till you're jerky,” Crowley said to Meg. Cas took a step toward Crowley. “But not… yet. Cas can have you for now. Hilariously, it seems he'd be upset at losing you. And the boys need Cas to get Dick. Don't they, Cas?” 

“Oh, I – I don't fight anymore,” Cas said. 

“Come on. Given the particulars of your enemy, sadly, you're vital,” Crowley said with a shrug. And then he tossed the vial of blood to Sam. 

We didn’t know if Crowley was helping us or himself. We had to trust the King of Hell. We came up with a crazy plan that might just work, but before we were going to work it out we had to set up the weapon to kill Dick. 

Dean was reading the notebook where Kevin had written the translated The Word of God. 

“Well, one thing's for sure – we only get one shot,” Dean said, tossing the notebook aside. 

Sam was holding the vial of blood that Crowley gave us and was there was a bowl with blood as well as candles. 

“This thing don't reload,” Dean said. 

“You think Crowley's, uh…” Sawyer asked, walking into the room with BJ. 

“Double-crossing us?” Dean said looking over to her. 

“Yeah,” she answered. 

“You've got to figure who he wants dead more – us or Dick,” Dean answered, looking back at Sam and me. 

“Depends what Dick offered. Here we go,” Sam said, ready to pour the bottle of blood over the bone. “Okay. Um… so do we, uh…” he started to ask.

“Uh, there's no magic words – nothing. We just... just go,” Dean explained. 

“All right, then,” Sam said, pouring the blood from the bowl onto the bone of Sister Mary Constant. Nothing happened. 

“Where's all the thunder and lightning?” I asked. 

“Uh... maybe it worked?” Sam said with a shrug. 

“Awesome,” Dean said, shaking his head. 

Abby was asleep on the floor when she sat straight up and smiled. We heard the sound of angel wings and Cas appeared holding plates of sandwiches. 

“So, none of this should cause you any ill effect. I went to a little farm in Normandy for the wheat and the lettuce and tomato and – and I thoroughly examined and comforted the pig before I... slaughtered it for the ham. Here,” He said holding out a plate to Sam and Dean. “You need your strength.” 

Dean took the plate with two sandwiches. “Thanks, Cas.” 

Cas held out a plate to Sam, but Sam didn’t take it. 

“And Cas, why was Crowley so certain that you need to come with us?” Sam asked, giving Cas a strange look. 

“Crowley's wrong. I'll be waiting right here and help Sawyer with the kids. But please – accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity,” Cas said with a smile, walking over to Abby and picking her up. 

“Unca Cas… You are good and you can help,” she said, putting her hands on his cheeks and kissing his nose. 

My little girl was way too smart and too good for this world. I smiled and walked over to her. “I love you, sweetheart. Be good.” 

“Love you too, mommy,” she said, leaning over to kiss me. 

Sam, Dean, and I drove to Sucrocorp and when we pulled up to the building Sam pulled out his laptop. 

“You got it yet?” Dean asked looking out the window. 

“Here we go,’ Sam said. 

The laptop showed footage of a boardroom, where a meeting is still in progress.

“Thank you, Charlie, wherever you are,” I said smiling to myself as I looked over Sam’s shoulder from the backseat. 

“Got you, Dick,” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, that's, uh, the second floor,” Sam said showing Dick Roman’s office where he is sitting at a desk. “and – and then – what's that?” 

“What the hell? Is that Dick?” I asked pointing to a different video on the laptop. 

“And that's Dick,” Sam said pointing out another video of Dick walking along a different hallway. 

“Son of a bitch,” Dean said. 

We had been sitting outside of the Sucrocorp office for almost 45 minutes. 

“Cycle through again,” I said. 

Just then a pickup truck pulled up across the street. Sam and Dean looked up just a woman in a maid outfit pulled got out and walked toward the office building. 

“That's the maid from the motel,” Sam said looking at Dean. 

“What motel?” I asked, confused as to what motel Sam was talking about. 

Sam pulled out the binoculars and looked through them. “Oh, no. Oh, Bobby, what are you doing?” he said. 

“Wait. Are you saying that Bobby –” I said, looking at Sam. It hadn’t been too long since Bobby was around but it was quiet. 

“Look, just, uh, wait here,” Sam said getting out of the car. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Dean said, turning his attention to Sam. 

“You got the weapon, and – and eyes on Dick, plural. I'll take care of Bobby,” Sam said, getting out of the car. 

“Sam! Hey!” I said, trying to stop him. 

“Shut up,” was his only answer. 

Dean and I settled back into watching the video feeds. 

“I think I understand what Crowley meant by Cas needing to help us,” I said, watching the screen. 

“What do you mean?” Dean asked. 

“The Leviathan's were in Cas, right?” 

“Yeah, so.” 

“Cas knows them. He had them inside of him when they got here. He can see who the real Dick Roman is,” I explained to Dean. 

He turned to me and nodded. Just then Sam ran back to the car with the maid in his arms. He put her in the back seat with me and we took her to the hospital. Then we went back to the cabin. 

Sam was on the phone, “Okay, thanks,” he said, hanging up the phone. Then he turned to us. “She's fine. Checking out of the hospital tonight.” 

“Well, that's positive,” Cas said handing a plate with a sandwich to Sam. Then putting plates on the table for me and Dean. 

“Tell me again why you turned tail for some maid. You were right there,” Meg said, giving us a dirty look. 

“Shut up, Meg,” I said.

“Because Dick made more Dicks,” Sam said. “He must've kept a chunk of the original Dick Roman somewhere. Uh, they'd all have to touch it.” 

Cas was drying dishes with Abby. 

“Hey, shifty, what's your problem?” Dean asked Cas. 

“Do we need a cat? Doesn't this place feel one species short?” Cas asked Abby ignoring Dean question. 

“No, unca Cas. Cats make my nose mad,” she said, looking up and him with a smile. 

“You got anything to say on the topic of Dicks? Crowley was pretty sure that you could help,” Dean said. “Kelly even has an idea.” 

Cas turned and looked at Dean. “I can't help. You understand? I can't. I destroyed… everything and I will destroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that?” 

“No,” Dean said getting up. “No, we can't.” 

“Dean…” I said, but he cut me off. 

“We can't leave it. You let these friggin' things in. So you don't get to make a sandwich. You don't get a damned cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess!” he said, yelling at Cas. 

I walked over to Abby and picked her up as Cas turned and walked to Dean. “You know... we should play Twister,” Cas said then he disappeared. 

“Nice. You scared off the Empire's only hope,” Meg said. 

“Meaning?” I asked turning to her. 

“Kelly, you were right. He knows them. He can see past the meat suits,” Meg said. 

“So, he'll be able to spot the real... fake Dick Roman,” Sam said. 

“Gold star, sugarpants. Too bad he's Fruit Loops. You might've had a chance,” she said. 

There was a noise behind us and we all turned. Cas was playing Twister on the floor by himself. 

“I love Twister!” Abby yelled, running to play with Cas. 

Later, Cas and Sawyer were watching the kids and Dean was looking at footage from the Sucrocorp office on the laptop.

“There's no real point in looking for a tell. They all downloaded Dick's brain. They've all got the same tells,” Dean said. 

I was sitting at the table reading a lore book. 

“All right, then maybe the question is, what would the real Dick be doing?” Sam said. 

Bobby appeared in the room. “Is that the best you can do? Idjits,” he said. 

“Bobby. We didn't know if you’d, uh –” Sam said. 

I couldn’t look at Bobby. I was too angry that he had stayed here. That he had gone vengeful. ‘How could he do that? Why didn’t he just go to Heaven? He could be happy and peaceful,’ I thought to myself. 

“Well, you should've. You got the flask. Dumb. You should've burned it right off,” Bobby said. 

I looked up and let go of my anger. “Damn you, Bobby. You stayed. We burned you. We said goodbye. I let you go! And you stayed!” I yelled. “This isn’t on us. This is all on you.” 

“Bobby, Kell -” Dean said. 

“Shut up, Dean,” I said not taking my eyes off of Bobby. “You tried to help us … But now you are… You are… you’re going dark,” I said to Bobby. 

“Kelly, you’re-” Bobby started. 

“No, you don’t get to talk to me and tell me I’m wrong. I am your daughter, I know when I am getting scolded,” I said, turning and going to get BJ.   
I could hear Bobby turn to Sam and Dean. “I'm still jonesing to go back... grab some poor bastard, kamikaze 'em going after Dick. It's bad.” I came back into the room with BJ on my hip. “Let's be real,” Bobby said then turning to Sam. “I damn near killed you. And that woman.” 

“It wasn't your fault, Bobby – not really,” Sam said. 

“Right. That's just what ghosts turn into. I really bet the farm I could outsmart that,” Bobby said, looking at me and BJ. 

“Dad, I’m sorry,” I said, looking down at BJ. “But, what's it feel like?” I asked, looking him in the eyes. 

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Bobby said “What? Going vengeful? It's an itch you can't scratch out. Look... I'm done. Go get Dick. But don't do it 'cause you think it'll scratch the itch. Do it 'cause it's the job. And when it's your time... go.” Bobby said looking at Sam, Dean, and me. “Kelly, this is for you,” He said walking over to a book and then pulling out an envelope and handing it to me. “Open this when this is finished.” 

“I love you, Daddy,” I said, a tear rolling down my cheek. 

“I love you as well sweetheart,”

We all exchanged sad looks. “Here's to… running into you guys on the other side. Only… not too soon. All right?” Bobby said. 

Dean tossed the flask into the fire and it started to burn. Cas walked into the room with Abby and they watched from the stairs. 

The next day Cas was playing Uno with Abby at the table while Sawyer was braiding Abby’s hair and helping her kick Cas’s butt. Dean walked over to the table. 

“Cas, I need a wingman,” Dean said. 

“Dean…” Cas tried to protest. 

“You don't want to jump into the jaws of death, that's… fine. How about we run a little errand?” Dean cut in. 

They left and were gone for a few hours. The rest of us came up with a plan to kill Dick Roman, to use the Impala as a diversion. When I suggested it I thought Dean’s head was going to explode, but he eventually gave in. Cas agreed that he would help but only if he didn’t have to kill or fight anyone. Sawyer was going to stay at the cabin with the kids and I was going to go with the boys. Then Sam and I would go get Kevin and Dean and Cas would go kill Dick. 

We got out of the car; I grabbed my gun from the trunk when Dean came up behind me and pulled me close to him. 

“If we make it out on the other side of this. I want to make life better for you and the kids,” Dean said.

I turned in his arms and faced him. “Dean, When we make it out on the other side, we will be a family together,” I said, reaching up and kissing him. 

I hugged Cas and then we headed to the back door of the office building. Sam and I went down one hallway and Cas and Dean went down a different hall. Sam and I made it to a room that we thought Kevin would be in and when we opened the door we saw Kevin tied to a chair and gagged. 

“Kevin. Hey, buddy. We got to hustle, okay?” Sam said as I covered the door. He cut Kevin free and Kevin pulled the tape from his mouth. 

“Wait. We can't leave yet,” Kevin said. 

“Uh, yeah, we can. It's okay. We got to go,” I said looking at him with a curious look. 

“You don't understand. Dick's got creamer in his lab. He's gonna kill all the skinny people,” Kevin explained. 

“Wait. What? Slow down,” Sam said. 

“We have to blow up the lab, Sam. Please.” 

“Yeah, fine. Let's go,” Sam said. 

We ran from the room and we got to lab and I opened the door and saw Dick Roman with the bone sideways through his neck. He was yelling and gurgling. Dean was standing in front of him and Cas was behind. 

“Figured we’d have to catch you off guard,” Dean said. 

Dick’s face transformed into a Leviathan huge mouth and sharp teeth. He roared and started to make noises. There was also a wave of energy that was pulsating from his body and it started to go faster and faster until his body exploded. Sam covered me and Kevin with his body. Black goo went everywhere. 

The three of us stood up and looked around the room. Dean and Cas were gone. I looked at Sam and then back to where Dean had been standing.

“Sam, we should go,” Kevin said. 

“What the hell?” I said. 

“More chompers any second, Kelly,” Kevin said to me.

“Not to worry. I have a small army of demons outside. Cut off the head, and the body will flounder, after all. Think if you'd had just one king since before the first sunrise. You'd be in a kerfuffle, too,” Crowley said, appearing in front of us. 

“Which is exactly what you wanted,” Sam said. 

“So did you. Without a master plan, the Levis are just another monster. Hard to stomp, sure, but you love a challenge. Your job is to keep them from organizing,” Crowley challenged back. 

“Where's Dean?” I asked. 

“That bone... has a bit of a kick. God weapons often do. They should put a warning on the box,” Crowley said with a spit of animosity. 

“Where are they, Crowley?!” I yelled. 

“Can't help you, Kelly.” 

Crowley snapped his fingers and two demons appeared on either side of Kevin. I turned to try to take out the demons. But Crowley stopped me. 

“Sorry, Sam, Kelly. Prophet's mine,” he said, snapping his fingers, making Kevin and the demons disappear. “You got what you wanted – Dick's dead saved the world. So I want one little prophet.” 

My heart dropped and I felt like I was starting to lose everything all over again. Crowley looked at me with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, love, Moose. Wish I could help. You certainly got a lot on your plate right now,” Crowley snapped his fingers and I found myself alone in the middle of the woods. I collapsed on the ground and let myself cry.


End file.
